Often following close on the heels of “not my fucken job” is the palm off to “someone else”. For example:
Foreman – “Those tins of tomatoes need to be sorted and shelved”
Ted – “What are you telling me for?”
Awkward pause
Foreman – “Would you please do it”
Ted – “I’m doing frozen food”
Foreman – “Not right now though”
Ted – “This is bullshit! That’s not my job mate!”
Foreman – “Whose job is it?”
And therein slides the allusion to our mysterious picker upper of slack. I have never met this someone else, but I hope they are getting paid well; they must be exhausted. Are they even on the payroll? I mean we never see them. Are they mythical beings who take pleasure from tying up loose ends for tired workers.
These industrious creatures are the invisible heroes of the working class. Their compassion, like their energy, knows no bounds. The joy they experience helping the overworked and underpaid is all they require. Sadly, their devotion is so true that they are blind to the abuse of their service that happens every day in one workplace or another.
In every work environment there are those tasks that fall between the cracks of designated responsibilities. If you are fortunate enough to be in a properly functioning team this will not be an issue. The nearest person will take care the unexpected chore knowing that whoever was there would have done the same.
People cover for one another and offer assistance confident that their efforts will be appreciated and reciprocated if needed. This kind of esprit de corps is more effective than any praise a leader may bestow; although that would certainly add to the motivation.
Shit! That fantasy workplace is more unbelievable than the mystical someone else fairies! Only the gullible Company Carrier would add extra duties to their already overflowing workload. They may or may not be thanked by their supervisor, but that is about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine.
“Keep up the good work” is a very unsubtle code for “keep picking up the slack so I don’t have to try and get the others to lift their game”.
The reason for this circle shirk is simple – trust; or lack of it to be precise. Almost all work teams have underperformers and downright bludgers. After being left holding the bag one too many times most of the decent team members get sick of being fooled and join the game.
If the task in question genuinely sits in no man’s land between staff, it will swiftly be delegated to ‘someone else’. If it is clearly another workers responsibility and the one being asked is certain their assistance will not be returned in any way, they have two viable options other than quitting or telling the boss to “fuck off!”, which is tantamount to a resignation in most cases. They can:
- Snitch and risk giving the shirker ammo to use against them.
- Insist that this particular task is the obligation of ‘someone else’.
If in the rare event management decides to call a meeting to clarify job descriptions, they will likely be walking into a room full of fascist tyrants. The borders are set and any attempt to cross them will be met with fierce opposition. Any discussion around duties that sit on the dividing lines will be met with full John McEnroe energy or a heated debate about what on the line constitutes.
“Okay for Tennis it is in, but in footy it is out mate!”
“In football it is in!’
“Footy mate, Rugby league, not bloody soccer!”
“It’s the same in Rugby union”
“The same as what?”
“Ah guys, we’re talking about general housekeeping in the factory.”
In this sense ‘someone else’ represents “I’m not doing someone else’s job” or “why should I be the one to fix that fuck-up?” The next level is where the imperceptible fixers are called upon for a task that is clearly in the summoners’ list of duties.
The disgruntled grunts too often invoke the altruistic services of the ‘unseeable cleaner upperers of things left undone’ with false intentions. These slackers call on the helpful munchkins for tasks they themselves should be performing. A most grievous betrayal.
This might explain the existence of the impish variation of the someone else species. The ones who perpetrate fuckups. These mischievous pixies love to instigate discord by stealthily causing spills, breakages, missing items and all manner of unexplainable mistakes and/or accidents. Having noticed the unscrupulous exploitation of their kindness, some ‘someone elses’ lean into their inner leprechaun and decide to have a little fun.
I think I’ve confused myself with this metaphor now.
Many employees would prefer not to take responsibility for their errors. If they are confident nobody saw their balls-up, they will often spout the catchphrase that gave Bart Simpson his 5 seconds of fame – “I didn’t do it”.
In a busy environment with lots of people coming and going, this ploy just might work. If nobody was injured and the damage/loss doesn’t cost someone their job or shut the place down, no harm no foul I suppose. However, if for any reason you are caught out you may just wish you had owned up.
That backfire is on you. The more serious ethical line gets crossed when your victimless lie is blamed on someone else. If you harbour ill will towards the patsy, I guess you may just jump for joy. Ditto if you are a selfish asshole with no conscience; as long as it sits at someone else’s feet your misdeed cannot darken your door – you swine!
Just remember, those playful sprites can become goblins if insulted. It can be a fine line between naughty and nasty. Be careful while pushing your luck.
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