Category: MUSING ON THE JOB ABOUT THE JOB
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I hope you noticed that the martyr is not working; a common characteristic of these pretenders. They spend just as much time telling everyone how hard they work as they do actually working. These are a very cunning species, common to almost all workplaces. “I’ve been working here for, like, two years. It’s bullshit man.…
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Another phrase that would make me rich if I had a dollar for every time I heard it. The simple label is “lazy bastard’ and very often it is correct. If that satisfies you, then I hope you have a nice day and come back to read something else in the future. If you prefer…
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A long time ago in a workplace locker-room not that far away… This place had over a hundred employees, so the locker room was large. It was an L-shape that wrapped around the men’s toilets and showers. I only ever saw 5 or less women working on the floor at any time, plus I never…
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“We’ve got some big contracts coming up, so there’s gonna be heaps of overtime! Take a look at our other depot when you get a chance; they’ve been doing 12 hours most days. You won’t see an old car in their car park!” Paraphrasing a manager during a depot meeting long ago This was meant…
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“That Health & Safety Representative is fucken useless!” “Our union delegate only gives a shit about stuff that affects him” More common gripes that could make you rich if you got a few bob every time you heard them. Always easy to pass judgement from the sidelines. Another one that would build a nice little…
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“How the fuck could they make that lazy prick a supervisor/manager?” Another line I have heard on repeat for many a year. Sometimes I personally witnessed the present boss doing fuck-all during their tenure on the floor with the rest of us. Sometimes the rise took place before my arrival and my coworkers were ever…
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“I do everything around here!” “This place would be fucked without me!” And the limitless variations on this theme. Oh, to have a dollar for every time I heard it. Shit, I ‘d be rich to have a dollar for every time I thought it myself! Wouldn’t be worth enough to get paid only for…
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“Monday’s Experts Always know what’s best Always tell you what you should’ve done Monday’s Experts Always know what’s cooking How the game was lost and how it could’ve been won” Weddings Parties Anything 1993 “Management is so fucken stupid here.” “Our supervisor couldn’t organise a fuck in a brothel.” I reckon it would be impossible…
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Smithers (over loudspeaker): Attention Homer Simpson. You have been promoted. You are now an executive. Take 3 minutes to say goodbye to your former friends and report to room 502 for reassignment…to a better life. Simpson and Delilah The Simpsons: Season 2, Episode 2 My experience with workplace hierarchy kind of went in reverse. My…
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I think it’s time to revisit that paragon of sobriety and workplace safety I survived all those years ago. Not only did I survive, but I learned to drive a forklift in that madhouse! Talk about a trial by fire! It was akin to having an L plate driver on an obstacle course in the…
THE FORKIE PHILOSOPHER 