THE FORKIE PHILOSOPHER

This time we’ve figured it out! Just getting rid of the aristocracy won’t do. It’s like cutting the head of a fucking hydra; there’s never a shortage of greedy climbers lining up to replace the old elite. We have to eliminate the current greedy rich and powerful pigs and make sure the power remains with the workers. That way we can ensure that the wealth produced by their labour will be shared evenly rather than funnelling upward to the bourgeoisie.

The first step will be brutal and bloody, but it is absolutely necessary. A violent uprising and ruthless overthrow of the ruling class – no mercy! We will kill and die for what is right. Well, when we say we, we mean you of course. You’re going to need us and our big, brilliant brains when the smoke settles to ensure everything runs fairly and squarely.

Mission complete! We have rid our nation of all the prosperous parasites. The workers will now take control of industry and all other state matters, and we will all share in the fruits of our labour. Well, when we say workers, obviously we can’t all be in control, we will need people to oversee others and be responsible for output.

“You mean like being the boss?”

“Sort of, but more like a leader”

“Do we elect these leaders?”

“We already have people in mind.”

“Did we elect you?”

“You followed us to glory! So yes.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t worry comrade, we have only the best interests of the workers in mind”

“Okay, well you have stood staunch up till now, so we will trust you. Plus, you have all those armed soldiers and police on your side so…”

“Yes, good, good – get back to work.”

I have little doubt, as I have said before, that many of the original leaders had pure and noble intentions. Unfortunately, power has a way of changing people and/or relationships. Once the keys to the kingdom had been won, the treachery soon followed. The snakes who kept close to the leadership, but well away from the action, now emerged from the shadows.

Those honourable socialists at the top who weren’t corrupted by power, were quickly silenced or eliminated. High minded intellectuals probably do not have the venom and deviousness to survive political intrigue. They were either outmaneuvered, leading to exile or execution; or they quickly fell into line after seeing the alternatives.

One of the most intriguing aspects of communist regimes for me has always been the total lack of democracy. Almost all other revolutions finished up with some form of elected representatives of the people. The hope being that having peasants/workers in the halls of power would provide more consideration for the masses in decision making.

Yet here we have a revolution purportedly by the people, for the people and they opted for totalitarianism. I do not know enough about the intricacies of Lenin’s vision and it is clear that Stalin was destined to be a despot. What fascinates me in those early years is how the Bolshevik Party convinced the Soviet state that they alone should rule.

They led a successful rebellion against the Tzar and the ruling class and then proceeded to place themselves in the top jobs. They genuinely saw themselves as Plato’s Philosopher Kings; the arrogance is astonishing…and frightening!

“You people are lucky! Now you will be under the dominion of the wise and trustworthy self-chosen few. You aren’t going to need elections because you can’t do better than us”

In the euphoria of a successful revolution, I’m sure a lot of the devoted communists really thought things were finally looking up. And the doubters? Well, I suppose any propaganda is amplified exponentially when dissent leads to a Gulag or oblivion.

“Only we know what’s best for everyone and if you disagree you must be a traitor to the cause!”

This seems to be the case for all three of the original commie czars. The popular version seems to have Lenin as the first leader, who was going to realise the workers utopia by following the communist political and economic system. Unfortunately, he croaked and the evil Stalin kicked the noble Trotsky out of the Communist party; then out of the country; and then off this mortal coil altogether.

If only Trotsky had prevailed…

It would make a great Disney story. Although I’m sure things were much more complicated, and that Stalin wasn’t the only one who transgressed for what he wanted. Whatever the case, the foxes had now taken control of the henhouse, and a new form of tyranny was upon the downtrodden workers. One cloaked in peasant clothing yet getting greedier by the day.

Shit. You reckon The International Brotherhood of Teamsters got drunk with power! The Soviet Union was a living example of the union winning absolute power; and you know where that leads – absolute corruption!

In a really fucked up way this system eliminated the need for the entrepreneurial knack required to rise through the capitalist system. Now, that sounds like, and is, what the system was supposed to do. Problem was that it didn’t eliminate the go-getters who would have taken that route; it merely removed the need to hone that particular skill. You didn’t need business savvy to climb the commie ladder; this game was pure politics. A union doesn’t need to know how to run a business or industry; it only needs to know how to put pressure on a cash cow and extract the maximum remuneration for its members. Now, envisage an industry run entirely by a union…How long until it has been bled dry?

The Bolsheviks had unintentionally made it easier for people with minimal business sense to rise through the ranks and be in control of agriculture and industry. Imagine a country where everything is run by politicians – holy shit! It’s bad enough in the corporate world with higher ups burying their mistakes. Picture a corporation that answers to no one. They do not need to run efficiently because profit is a capitalist evil. Even better, anyone who tries to point out any shortcomings can be disappeared and the population knows it.

I am positive that Marx and Engels were doing their utmost to create a blueprint for a fairer society, and most of the Bolshevik party were sincerely fighting for just that. Mind you, most of the revolutionaries on the ground where just baying for blood and desperate for any change they could get. Be that as it may…

“The road to hell is paved in good intentions”

On top of that, they made the same mistake all revolutionaries make – Us & Them. This is probably the way things are at the time when the fuse is lit. Us, the oppressed and Them, the powers that be. The error lies in believing that if we get rid of all of Them it is over. Inevitably a new Them always arrives from within the ranks of Us because the flaw is a human one that we all carry to varying degrees.

Naturally, the power hungry will gravitate toward positions of authority. More disturbing still, the desire may grow with exposure. A conscientious and industrious person could be housing a dormant megalomaniac in their unconscious. You never know how susceptible you may be until you are immersed.

While Stalin certainly wasn’t repressing any such egomania, he was consistently on the lookout for any ambitious competition or dissent. The ensuing genocide was largely in the service of his paranoia and malice.

Although state violence and mass murder are not limited to communism, it is alarming that the two largest communist revolutions led to two of the worst cases: Stalin in The Soviet Union and Mao Zedong in the People’s Republic of China. I understand notorious tyrants lead various regimes: Adolf Hitler and Pol Pot were not communists. I just find it glaring that tyranny seems wedded to communism – let’s not forget the Kim Dynasty of North Korea.

There is no escaping violent acts of reprisal whenever an oppressed population gains the upper hand, regardless of ideology. Revenge and hostile resentment are two other traits humans sadly possess. “Live and let live” can only go so far.

All revolutions are fought under some kind of “for the people” banner. I just can’t get my head around how the one that was supposed to keep the power for the people fucked up so royally. Even the French left room for people to prosper and increase their status. Communism invented the most outlandish contradiction. We abhor social climbers and/or people seeking affluence. The people who climb the party ladder are doing so in service of us all. Please pay no attention to the higher status, living conditions and level of influence they have.

The concept of a one-party socialist state seems paradoxical to me. Getting back to the labour union comparison, it’s easy enough to see how a Jimmy Hoffa type character might seize control and undermine the voting systems; a combination of charisma for the masses and menace to any competition goes a long way to securing power beyond your set term.

That coupled with the lack of people willing to step up to the leadership roles can mean that even if the elections are above board, the list of candidates is made up of only a small minority. Be that as it may, the union system at least has the pretence of democracy. The ideal democracy has as many different leaders as possible. Trouble is that though we all like to complain, not many of us are willing to step into the leadership role.

These communist parties went single-party monopoly right out of the gate. Leaders is the title; rulers is the rank!

“We are the best people for the job, and I dare you to complain”

Okay, bloody dictatorships aside, how did this new ideology pan out in reality?

Well, if you leave out the failed economies, famines and all-around human suffering – At least they got rid of that obnoxious upper-class. No more Grand Dukes, Princes, Counts and Barons. Now there’s a General Secretary, the Politburo, The Central Committee…

If you wanted to get your claws on the good stuff now, you had to successfully navigate the political or military minefield. Nothing as vulgar as winning votes of course, you just needed to play your Machiavellian cards right. Oh, and if you fail, you will probably never be seen or heard from again.

As for the heads of industry? That’s right – more political jockeying. A society that loathes capitalism must also not be one that worships profit. Brilliant for a political buffoon who has little to no idea how to successfully run a factory or large-scale farm, let alone an entire national industry or infrastructure. Stalin’s son-in-law who used to be a plumber is now in charge of supermarket logistics (fiction folks), what could go wrong?

The premise was based on a pipe dream: we will all work together because we will all get a fair share of the results. I often wonder if any of the Bolshevik leaders truly believed that an entire population would be so virtuous. I can accept that a bunch of intellectuals with their heads in the clouds might reckon they have designed a workable political system, but I struggle to accept that Lenin and co. were that naïve. Writing a book is one thing; attempting to apply it to a massive country and population takes balls of steel!

Maybe they hoped and dreamed it could be possible and proceeded knowing that they would be the ones sitting at the big table if they were victorious; “we can work out the kinks after we get rid of these asshole aristocrats”.

Look at the Russian Revolutionary Slogan “Peace, land, and bread”.

They were leading a nation of exhausted, starving workers and soldiers who were fed up with World War 1 and flagrant exploitation. These people were ripe and ready to follow any party that promised justice and improved conditions.

Even if we could magically rule out greed and the corruption that goes with it, you are still relying on individuals to work tirelessly for the success of an abstract concept; an ideology or nation. Right from the get-go you already have the percentage of citizens who disagree and never signed on to this whole communist thing. They will do as much work as necessary to avoid repercussions and nothing more.

The staunch believers will be diligent little workhorses and will not miss a chance to snitch on any idle sceptics; this will fill them with righteous pride no doubt. However, there is no escaping shirkers. Shit! Some of the most vocal supporters of the Red Crusade will be slackers. Work-dodgers always find a rort.

With no material reward or even some form of special treatment, even the majority of stalwarts will get sick and tired of doing more than their fair share. Especially when it becomes clear that there is no tangible reward for busting your ass other than the expectation to keep it up and pick up some of the slack from the deadshits. “Keep up the good work comrade!” – Fuck off.

An entire country running on the union motto of “same job, same pay”. It has its benefits, yet it has one major drawback; the race to the bottom. “Why should I do any more than that lazy prick? We all get the same pay. Fuck this!”

With no opportunity to improve your lot through hard work or increased efficiency the only way to feel like you are getting ahead is to do less than the other suckers. Suddenly the innovation that could be fuelling improvement is being channelled into cheating the system.

The communist state takes this rort to its extreme. Everyone has a roof over their heads and food to eat. The home may be rudimentary, and you probably have to queue for hours to get lousy groceries, but it is provided by the state. Of course, with no market competition there is little in the way of motivation for suppliers of goods and services to give much of a shit about the quality of what they provide.

Apathetic workers turning out mediocre products and listless services. Unless they can find a safe way to game the system they are stuck on this lackadaisical hamster wheel. It wouldn’t be like getting caught ripping off Centrelink here in Australia. Those Soviets will send your lazy ass to a forced labour camp in the fucking Arctic! Maybe they should try something similar Down-under…

I will conclude with a communist saying that has always made me giggle, “they pretend to pay us and we pretend to work.”